there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
