Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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