I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
