After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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