There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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