I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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