i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
