I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
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