My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
