If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
