I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize