You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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