She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
