So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
