Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize