So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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