textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
