i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
