If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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