No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
