is your mom at the bar?
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
This toilet bowl is my home.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize