so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
