Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
