Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
