I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Randomize
