That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
