She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
How drunk are you?
Completed.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
