I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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