i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize