Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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