He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
