The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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