Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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