I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
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