I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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