i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
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