i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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