Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
