there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize