and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
they're like a gay fantastic four
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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