she was so not down for the gang bang
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
