everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
