i permit you to call me
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize