bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
