Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
