Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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