you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
