We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
