I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize