All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
