Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
