So gin and wine won't be happening again
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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