Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
