I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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