i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
It's never too late to be topless.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize