I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I party with great urgency now.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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