Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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