We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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